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A confusing development

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As many of you know, I've recently gone 'public' with this blog. It's never been a secret or anything, it's just that in connecting it with my real life Facebook account, I'm making the fact that it exists a bit more obvious. As a consequence it feels a little more awkward to be writing about the more personal side of things but that's what this blog is about so I guess I'll do it anyway. It's time for an update on the ectopic pregnancy.

I think when we left off (to be honest I can't remember and I'm too lazy to look it up!), I was about to take a pregnancy test. I did so and while at first I thought it was negative, after a while I wasn't so sure. I know about evaporation lines but in the many (many!) pregnancy tests I've ever taken, I've never had one before so I was suspicious. Suspicious enough to take another test a few days later, to which the same thing happened. So what to do next? I waited and waited, knowing that the hospital would want me to go back and being too lazy to go (I know, naughty) but they were such faint positives that I couldn't even be sure that they were - I would have taken a photo of them but I doubt the lines would have even shown, they were so faint. I asked David if there was something wrong with my eyesight but we both agreed the lines were there.

Fast forward to the Bank Holiday Monday (three days ago) and something unexpected happened. It shouldn't really have been unexpected but because it's been so long since my last one, it was. While in the shower I got some 'oh so familiar' abdominal cramps and sure enough, what appeared to be my monthly friend arrived not long after. So of course I was confused, if those two tests were positive surely I couldn't have ovulated and then gotten a period so quickly after (we're talking what, three weeks ago max?) so either they weren't positive or this wasn't my monthly friend visiting after all but something potentially more sinister. You'll be pleased to know I finally decided today that I can't possibly figure this one out on my own and thankfully the hospital agree so I'm back in tomorrow morning for another blood test.

*sigh*

Will this saga never end? All I want is to reach the 'three month ban' mark (one more month) and then let nature take things over again. I've had enough of worrying, I've had enough of preventing and I've had enough of the impact it's having on our lives. I'm in no rush to have another baby right now but I'm sick of having to not have one.

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